THE GHOST OF A NEVER ENDING HAPPINESS

It appears as if I'm always talking about this, I realize I'm always thinking about this, when the grass is at the first stage of its growth, It's always greener, so was how I saw the picture then, great happiness,  an unending one indeed, now I'm here staring at its ghost, wondering how I could still gaze at it with my naked eyes. It's not easy to stare at it, you see horror, you see your pain, you see torture, you see the efforts put in, you see a once unending desire, you see dashed hope,
your eyes 👀 have seen it all, but it's not going away, the ghost is crying, shedding tears, expecting your help,
infact crying for your help but you are numb from the sight, what seemed ever green, is dead before your eyes and you are powerless to help.

How it began: When an answered prayer reminds you of a human being, When a man is fine and still gives you money 💰, When a woman knows the heart of her man. Those can cast a shadow of the happiness spoken of, they can show a silhouette of what I mean, do you now get the glimpse of how I felt? It was alive, it was lit, the feeling, like I said, was endless, everything represented by the shape of a heart ❤ was in the air, it was an amazing moment, I still do pass through the exact location it all started, as I sit in the car 🚗,  nostalgia hit me like a whirlwind and I do realize, it was the best experience I have ever had yet it died like the rest and its ghost is still around me, giving me the impression that it wants to come alive again.

Sometimes I pretend it's not dead, sometimes I relate with it like it's right in front of me, I get a temporary satisfaction, I forget my reality and before I can enjoy my utopia, reality strikes and we are back to where we are. I have tried moving on, I have tried not seeing this appearance but I'm scared if I tell off the ghost, I may never know another happiness so I make myself dwell with this figure, telling myself that one day, we will find a way to bring it back. The question is does it want to live again, of course it looks like what wants to come back, I have tried asking if it wants to come back, I don't get a reply, I don't know what to do, I'm helpless and I am numb.

They said a problem shared is a problem solved but this problem can not be shared, I can't tell you about it, I don't know how you will see me, how would you take it that we have a ghost in common. Won't you blame me for its appearance like you always do, do you have a stake in the matter? I believe you also have a hand in it. Advice me like someone who knows, what would you have me do? Do I save the situation or do I ignore how it appears. That's all I can say, you know I would like to say more, but as you know, I'm a lazy writer ✍ and no matter how hard I tried, this is not my best piece.

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